THEN COMES BABY IN A BABY CARRIAGE!

David and I are thrilled to announce we will be welcoming a little one this November! It wasn’t an easy journey getting here, but it was more than worth it. We are incredibly grateful for everyone who has prayed and encouraged us, and those who have helped keep this exciting little secret for the past couple of months!

Dropping David off and saying goodbye at the end of February was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But less than a week after he left, I got to tell him over FaceTime that he’s going to be a dad…and that might be one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done. His reaction was absolutely priceless.

God’s timing is always perfect, and I have seen His hand up close and personal in the last five months of our lives. From my “gut feeling” that I needed to move home to live with family for David’s deployment to David’s anticipated homecoming date, the timing of my first pregnancy could not have been any better. Glory be to God!

The rest of this post includes the details of my battle with endometriosis, ovarian cysts, and fertility struggles. It won’t hurt my feelings if this isn’t your thing . You can find more posts about home decor here. 

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JULY 2015

In July 2015 after a scary emergency surgery due to a ruptured ovarian cyst, I received the news that I have endometriosis (endo). Without going into too much detail, it’s basically when the lining of your uterus grows in places it shouldn’t (outside of the uterus). The endo implants act the same as the lining of the uterus and shed each month, but because they’re not where they’re supposed to be, they cause inflammation, adhesions, and overall an unhappy environment.

During one of my post-surgery follow-up visits, a primary care physician nonchalantly told me, “You may never have children.” He continued to tell me that if I was at all interested in having kids, I needed to start thinking about it now and go see a specialist ASAP. Pretty much every doctor since then has reacted in a similar way as soon as I list endometriosis in my medical history.

Talk about mind numbing! Here I was: 23 years old, newly married, new military spouse, had just uprooted my life to move to be with my new husband, and this is what happens. I was in shock, and overall just thought, no…this isn’t happening to me.

I left that appointment in denial. No way was this going to be my life. No way could everything I was reading online be an accurate forecast of what I had in store.

30-50% of women with endometriosis are infertile and up to 50% of women who are infertile have endometriosis.

So, I lived in denial for as long as I could. But before I knew it, I was skipping Zumba classes because I was too fatigued to get off the couch, and sleeping with a rolled up towel and heating pad under my back because I was in so much pain.

MAY 2016

Less than a year after my emergency surgery, David and I were living in Corpus Christi, TX and the pain and fatigue were getting increasingly worse. My back hurt so badly I couldn’t exercise at all without paying for it for days after, and the heating pad had become my best friend. We quit going out during the week because I didn’t have the energy to do anything outside of working. I had a hard time making commitments because I knew there was a good chance I’d have to cancel last minute. Endo had single handedly taken over my personal and social life.

At that point, I knew I couldn’t be in denial any longer. I found an endometriosis support group on Facebook called Nancy’s Nook, and it opened my eyes to new information and resources. I learned that the surgery I had in 2015 was a common procedure but doesn’t have lasting effects, and that a more extensive surgery exists, but few doctors are qualified to perform it. Furthermore, only two of those surgeons in the whole country accept military insurance. But, you know how I said God’s timing is perfect? We only lived in TX for five and a half months, but wouldn’t you know that one of those surgeons was located in Denton, TX. That’s not just coincidence my friends!

After a two hour phone conversation with Dr. Dulemba, the endometriosis excision surgeon, I scheduled my surgery for three weeks out – one year after my first surgery nearly to the day. David and I bought our plane tickets and never looked back. What he found during surgery was evidence of my pain. Adhesions had formed and pretty much “glued” different organs together, and I had endo implants all over the place, including on my bladder. It was a mess, but luckily we had gone to the right doctor.

That surgery gave me my life back – the pain was gone, and after I recovered from surgery the fatigue was gone too! But fertility? That’s a different story.

DECEMBER 2016

Dr. Dulemba isn’t a fertility specialist, but he recommended that I see one after David and I got to our permanent duty station that fall. David had always said that regardless of when he and I felt “ready” to start a family, we’d follow doctors’ advice for when we needed to. Once we got to NC in October 2016, I started asking around about fertility specialists. The one who was recommended to me over and over again not only accepts military insurance, but was located 45 minutes from our house. Yet again, there is no way all of that is coincidence!

That specialist told me that while he did believe we should start our family soon so we’d have time to deal with any hurdles and have multiple children if we wanted, he didn’t see a difference in us waiting six months or a year, but sometime in the near future was recommended.

So, we went about our normal lives and enjoyed our time getting settled in NC. We had new friends, new jobs, a new house…we had a lot going on! But something old started rearing its ugly head – endometriosis. Dr. Dulemba had told me it was possible for it to grow back, and other side effects can be caused from adhesions. Sure enough, the fatigue and back pain had stayed away for about eight months, but was slowly coming back.

MAY 2017

Fast forward a few months and doctors visits later, and we were told it was time. We had just celebrated our 2-year wedding anniversary, David had just finished the last part of his flight training before joining the NC-based squadron, and I had just started a new career. Neither one of us felt ready, but we had been told by multiple doctors that whether or not we felt ready didn’t really matter in the big scheme of things. At the end of the day, we knew it was all in God’s hands.

What started as being scary, turned exciting. But after seven months of nothing happening, exciting turned back to scary for an entirely different set of reasons. We knew David would deploy in early 2018, and went from “if we get pregnant, you’ll have a few months with the baby before you go!” to “if we get pregnant, the baby will come while you’re gone…” to “will we get pregnant before you leave?” On top of struggling with fertility, my endo pain was worse than ever. We were both getting frustrated and starting to wonder if this was going to ever happen for us.

DECEMBER 2017

So, back to the fertility specialist I went, this time with David holding my hand. We told the doctor we had three months before David deployed and were terrified of losing the time while he’s gone. In the most encouraging way possible, he told us there was one fertility drug we could try for January and February and if it didn’t work, we could discuss IVF when David gets back in the fall. That acronym – IVF – was something I had dreaded hearing, especially at 25 years old. Many people successfully have children using IVF, but I felt like someone had punched me in the face. Why was this happening to us? If we go down that road, could we afford it? Would it work?

David was incredibly encouraging and strong through all of this, and while I walked out of that appointment feeling defeated, he had a totally different perspective. He was so optimistic! He kept saying, “Em, we have options! This is great!” And he was right – how wonderful it is that we live in a time and place where people going through fertility struggles have options! That man, y’all. Don’t know what I’d do without him.

January was my first month on the fertility medicine (called Femara), which I paid a whopping $2.00 for at the Walmart pharmacy. Although I could tell it was doing something due to the mood swings, increased endo symptoms, and breakouts, I didn’t get pregnant. I was so frustrated! David – always the optimist – kept telling me to not get down because we still had one more month. To me, this was it. If it didn’t work in January, why would it work in February? I had a full blown pity party for myself. That night, I went to bed and suddenly felt convicted – if I had truly trusted God with all of this like I thought I had, why was I so angry? If I truly believed that God would give us a baby one way or the other when the time was right, I wouldn’t be angry at all.

After that night, I decided to really let it go. I had less than a month left with my husband before being separated for seven months, we had a big move to prepare for, and I needed to enjoy that time instead of worrying about whether or not this month would be our time. In fact, I was pretty much at peace with the fact that it wouldn’t – – and that was ok. I got the prescription refilled and took it like I was supposed to, but honestly had no expectation that it would work.

FEBRUARY 2018

I dropped David off for his deployment knowing that a few days later we would find out. As sad as I was about him leaving, and as occupied as I was about moving home, I didn’t pin my hopes on a positive pregnancy test like I had so many times before. In fact, I took the test at midnight before going to bed instead of first thing in the morning like you’re supposed to. As I stood in the bathroom brushing my teeth, I was shocked to see a second pink line forming. Honestly, I thought I was seeing things and just couldn’t believe it was positive…so I took a digital test to be sure.

And there it was, no mistaking that! I obviously couldn’t sleep after this, and I wanted David to be the first person I told, so naturally I stayed up until 3am researching all things pregnancy. Telling David the next day and my family that week was so exciting! Everyone was surprised and thrilled for us.

I’m grateful our decision for me to be at home during this deployment allows me to spend this exciting time with my family. My mom has gone with me to every single appointment and ultrasound, and occasionally David gets to join us on FaceTime! He will get home just in the nick of time this fall for the birth, and I know he’s going to be a great dad.

It was such a journey getting to this point, and sometimes I still can’t believe we’re here. God has truly blessed us with this miracle!

Stay tuned for updates along the way and of course, more photos, gender reveal, moving plans, and nursery design!